I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Randomize
