ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
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