But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
Randomize
