Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Randomize
