you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Randomize
