We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
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