There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize