I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
Randomize