i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
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