super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
Randomize