Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
Randomize
