if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
Randomize
