omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
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