The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
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