If i could tip my vagina, i would.
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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