I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
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