Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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