come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
