i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
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