ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Randomize
