so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
