I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
