so that wasnt chicken after all
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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