Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Randomize
