life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
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