I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
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