First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
