Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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