Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
