3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
