So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Randomize
