How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Randomize
