I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
