You just made me feel so damn special
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize
