she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Randomize
