My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
lets start a swedish sibling band together
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
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