im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
