ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
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