Is it normal to miss your booty call?
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
Randomize
