theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
