She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
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