so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
time to smoke my breakfast
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize