If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
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