did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
