I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
Im part way to drunk.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
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