I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
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