we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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