how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
