Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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