walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
