You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
