my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Randomize
