You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
Randomize
