Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
You have to summon your inner elephant
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
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