CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Randomize
