it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
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