that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
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