We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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