Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
